Just last week, we went to see the new Underworld film – The Rise of the Lycans. The boys and I are avid fans of the film and of Kate Beckinsale. Violence, vampire action, good soundtrack and a fine woman – no one can resist that, now can they! Although she doesn’t appear in this one, the prequel, we were still pretty excited about it simply by association. I enjoyed this one thoroughly since I really liked the Lycan dude anyway, even in the previous film. The army of werewolves in the film, however, somehow brought ideas of creating an army of my very own. What did I think up?

Mating Anna’s black persian cat Mortie with my cocker spaniel Fifi. That sounds like the most horrid, sick thing to do. Please don’t be offended but Anna and I pissed ourselves chatting about this and decided a cat and a spaniel will create an army of, not Lycans, but Spatz! How cool does that sound? Someone’s gonna say ‘Maybe to a stoner’. Chances are, he’s right but man, do I think my little army of Spatz will be great fun to have around. Nonetheless, this really just stays in my head. I’m really not that into inter-breeding of animal species.

So anyway. Someone turned 21 yesterday (actually 3 people I know share the same birthday on 27th Jan) and Kid Diva did her duty and baked the birthday cake. The last time I made carrot cake for a friend’s birthday was years ago and it didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted it to. Melting in the summer heat, it was greasy, squishy and simply pathetic. This time, I truly believe I have outdone myself all thanks to Ina Garten’s recipe. This woman is a godsend! The cake was orgasmically good – dreamily moist and the flavours were fantastic. Considering I had hardly any of my bakeware from home, no sieve to sift the flour or icing sugar, ancient scruffy-looking cake tins and a shitty garbage of an oven, this cake turned out a hit. The birthday boy was grinning from ear to ear and it wasn’t strange to spot our party-goers dipping their fingers as discretely as possible into the cream cheese frosting between gulps of vodka.

The whole evening was as posh as student life can get. The recent credit crunch, however, prevented us from making a pleasant trip out into the country for a relaxed pub lunch as Sam would have wished it. Instead, we organized a nice little dinner, table cloths and all. Redecorated the kitchen, lit some candles, whacked on some posh jazz music and placed a green sign on the door that read ‘Bistro Gamper’. The whole thing was Anna’s brainchild and kudos to her. She did an amazing job preparing the pork, potatoes and vegetables, and a to-die-for redcurrant and cider gravy which I’ve already nicked the recipe of. I’ll never forget the taste of that gravy and I’m eager to give it a go myself. In fact, there’s some left in the fridge. I could possibly drink the whole bowl of it. It is that mindblowing!

Stuffed, about to pop, and feeling slightly woozy from too much food and champagne, we braved on towards pudding and the birthday song. My family’s quite the group of conservative eaters. At family meals, I’m always the only one gasping and moaning away if something tastes great. It takes quite a bit to stop me from banging on about how good it is. Last night, however, I am very pleased to say the whole table was gasping and moaning away to no end. What a fan-fucking-tastic experience that was! I am so relieved and glad that the cake was a success, thrilled that it tasted like sex and delighted that our dearest Sam is 21 and lovin’ it.

I have altered Ina Garten’s recipe just slightly – adding more spices and substituting half the amount of vegetable oil for applesauce. This was recommended by a lot people who had attempted the recipe and thought I might as well try it their way. Can honestly say this cake wasn’t greasy like the one I made years ago. It was wonderful – perfectly moist and the flavour was well balanced. I might’ve reduced the amount of icing sugar in the frosting as well. I rather enjoy tasting more butter and cream cheese then just sweetness. Come the summer, I will be making this again. It’s so beaten my infamous Guinness Chocolate Cake.

I’ve noticed a trend though. I happen to make the best cakes on days where I know I’m going to get absolutely battered that evening. I suppose alcohol doesn’t just give you a head rush huh?

Carrot Cake
Adapted from Ina Garten
Ingredients

For the cake:
2 cups sugar
2/3 cup vegetable oil
3 extra-large free range eggs
2/3 cup Bramley applesauce
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2cups + 1 tbs flour, divided
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup raisins
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 pound carrots, grated
1/2 cup crushed pineapple

For the frosting:
300g cream cheese
1 cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup icing sugar, sifted

For the decoration:
anything you fancy really OR
strips of carrot, peeled with a peeler lengthwise
some red chard leaves

Preheat oven to 180d Celsius.
Butter and flour 2 8″ round cake pans.

Beat sugar, oil and eggs together until light yellow. Add vanilla. In another bowl, sift together 2 1/2 cups flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Toss the raisin and walnuts with 1 tbs flour. Fold in the carrots and pineapple. Add to the batter and mix well.

Divide the batter equally between the 2 pans. Bake for 55 – 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Allow the cakes to cool completely in the pans set over a wire rack.

For the frosting:
Beat hte butter til light in colour. Add the cream cheese and beat. Add the vanilla. Beat till just incorporated. Add the icing sugar and mix til smooth.

Assemble cake and decorate as you like it!

I’m fairly notorious for doing quirky, crazy things. Think balancing a bone china teacup and saucer on my head, applying red lipstick with precision, write a cheque without mistakes whilst picking up some rubbish off my bedroom carpet with my toes, that sorta thing. I mean I quite like multi-tasking.

Sadly, the Advocator of Multi-Tasking admits failure. And the end result is? —- Burnt chicken!

As you can see, the chicken pieces seem darker than they should be. Also, I covered them in too much flour before frying and they went a little strange and soggy. But I suppose, nothing should get you down near Chinese New Year and the marinade and sauce didn’t disappoint me one tiny bit despite my little hiccups. The lemon chicken was fantastic. Tasted so citrusy, sweet and yet savoury. Very very lovely. I would definitely make this again, and not balance too many tasks whilst making this now that I have lived and learnt.

Happy Chinese New Year to all!

恭喜发财，万事如意!

Gong xi fa cai, wan shi ru yi!

As I was starting to feel a little moody about not celebrating CNY with my family and missing out on a whole month’s worth of reunion dinners, light banter and drinking, I decided to whip up my own eve of the eve dish. Nothing exciting of course but enough to perk me up and chase away those damn blues. Also, to anyone mildly interested, Diva’s hair is getting much much longer! I’m absolutely thrilled. After chopping away my long black locks 3 years ago to get it more in sync with my jet black rock-chic style and I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude, the inner female was getting way too wistful. The chocolate brown & blonde to ginger-caramel highlights I started sporting a year ago is thankfully paying off as well.

Life is pretty smooth-sailing. Work-wise, it ain’t fantastic but I can honestly say I’m feeling all jittery about getting started on the first chapter of my dissertation. Apart from that, I’ve sent off applications to Royal Holloway and Birkbeck universities for 2 different MA courses – Postmodernism and Modernity, and Gender, Sexuality and Culture respectively. Thinking of the future is shit scary but I’m thrilled about being able to further my studies beyond the undergraduate level. All this, I’m praying will happen. Everything is balanced on funding right now from my sponsor. You can see how I might be bogged down with this massive burden on me back.

How have I solved this problem temporarily? EAT!

If you’re feeling moo-moo like I am, a little worried about the near future, stressed out? Go make yourself some food, buddy. CNY is all about feasting. Even if you’re not Chinese, pick up those chopsticks. Who says you only get to feast at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s? I’m keeping the ball rolling.

If anyone’s wondering how my Miso Yaki Udon is any different from Mum’s Yaki Udon with Shimeji & Shrimp, this is egg-free, chili-free and uses miso rather than soy sauce to flavour it. It is a slightly lighter version and the miso gives it a more interesting flavour I’d say, than using plain soy.

This recipe is good for 1.

Lemon Chicken
Ingredients

1 chicken breast
juice of 1/2 a lemon
1 tbs soy sauce
2 tsp hot water
2 tsp clover honey
1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp toasted sesame oil
1/2 tsp cornstarch
1 small garlic clove, chopped
a little flour to toss chicken in
salt and pepper, for seasoning
olive oil, for frying

Miso Yaki Udon
Ingredients

1 serving udon
1 tbs sake
1/2 tbs mirin
1 1/2 tsp fresh miso
1 tbs hot water
1/4 cup carrots, thinly sliced into strips
2 large shitakee mushrooms, sliced with stalks removed
1 large garlic clove, finely chopped or minced
1 heaped tbs onion, finely chopped
1 spring onion, sliced
sprinkle of black sesame seeds
olive oil, for frying

To make the lemon chicken:
To prepare the marinade for the chicken, combine lemon juice, soy sauce, sugar and sesame oil in a deep bowl. Dissolve the honey in the hot water then mix into the bowl of sauce. Cut the chicken breast into cubes and then leave to soak in the marinade for at least an hour. In a deep dish, pour a little flour and season it with some salt and pepper. Remove the chicken from the fridge, drain off the marinade but keep it to make the rest of the sauce for later.
Heat some oil in a frying pan. Toss chicken lightly in the seasoned flour. Don’t over do it. I did that and ended up having a really weird crispy outer layer. A little will be fine just to give the chicken a little crunch.
Once the oil in the pan is hot enough, fry the chopped garlic to flavour the oil. I usually fry it til golden brown then remove so it doesn’t turn black later. Add the chicken pieces and fry til golden brown. Remove and let sit on a paper towel.

In a saucepan over low heat, stir in the cornstarch into the remaining marinade until this thickens and attains a gooey sticky consistency. Set aside to cool for 1-2 minutes, then pour over the fried chicken pieces.

To make the miso yaki udon:
If you’re using dried udon, cook this first and set aside whilst you prepare the rest of the ingredients.
Heat some oil in a wok. Sauté the garlic and onions. Add the half the spring onions, mushrooms and carrots and sauté in the sake. Now add the cooked udon and the rest of the spring onions. Lower heat. Dissolve the miso in hot water then add, along with the mirin, to wok. You don’t want to burn the miso as miso should not be exposed to high heat.

Sprinkle some black sesame seeds and mix through. Serve.