The Sugar Bar

Just last week, we went to see the new Underworld film – The Rise of the Lycans. The boys and I are avid fans of the film and of Kate Beckinsale. Violence, vampire action, good soundtrack and a fine woman – no one can resist that, now can they! Although she doesn’t appear in this one, the prequel, we were still pretty excited about it simply by association. I enjoyed this one thoroughly since I really liked the Lycan dude anyway, even in the previous film. The army of werewolves in the film, however, somehow brought ideas of creating an army of my very own. What did I think up?

Mating Anna’s black persian cat Mortie with my cocker spaniel Fifi. That sounds like the most horrid, sick thing to do. Please don’t be offended but Anna and I pissed ourselves chatting about this and decided a cat and a spaniel will create an army of, not Lycans, but Spatz! How cool does that sound? Someone’s gonna say ‘Maybe to a stoner’. Chances are, he’s right but man, do I think my little army of Spatz will be great fun to have around. Nonetheless, this really just stays in my head. I’m really not that into inter-breeding of animal species.

So anyway. Someone turned 21 yesterday (actually 3 people I know share the same birthday on 27th Jan) and Kid Diva did her duty and baked the birthday cake. The last time I made carrot cake for a friend’s birthday was years ago and it didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted it to. Melting in the summer heat, it was greasy, squishy and simply pathetic. This time, I truly believe I have outdone myself all thanks to Ina Garten’s recipe. This woman is a godsend! The cake was orgasmically good – dreamily moist and the flavours were fantastic. Considering I had hardly any of my bakeware from home, no sieve to sift the flour or icing sugar, ancient scruffy-looking cake tins and a shitty garbage of an oven, this cake turned out a hit. The birthday boy was grinning from ear to ear and it wasn’t strange to spot our party-goers dipping their fingers as discretely as possible into the cream cheese frosting between gulps of vodka.

The whole evening was as posh as student life can get. The recent credit crunch, however, prevented us from making a pleasant trip out into the country for a relaxed pub lunch as Sam would have wished it. Instead, we organized a nice little dinner, table cloths and all. Redecorated the kitchen, lit some candles, whacked on some posh jazz music and placed a green sign on the door that read ‘Bistro Gamper’. The whole thing was Anna’s brainchild and kudos to her. She did an amazing job preparing the pork, potatoes and vegetables, and a to-die-for redcurrant and cider gravy which I’ve already nicked the recipe of. I’ll never forget the taste of that gravy and I’m eager to give it a go myself. In fact, there’s some left in the fridge. I could possibly drink the whole bowl of it. It is that mindblowing!

Stuffed, about to pop, and feeling slightly woozy from too much food and champagne, we braved on towards pudding and the birthday song. My family’s quite the group of conservative eaters. At family meals, I’m always the only one gasping and moaning away if something tastes great. It takes quite a bit to stop me from banging on about how good it is. Last night, however, I am very pleased to say the whole table was gasping and moaning away to no end. What a fan-fucking-tastic experience that was! I am so relieved and glad that the cake was a success, thrilled that it tasted like sex and delighted that our dearest Sam is 21 and lovin’ it.

I have altered Ina Garten’s recipe just slightly – adding more spices and substituting half the amount of vegetable oil for applesauce. This was recommended by a lot people who had attempted the recipe and thought I might as well try it their way. Can honestly say this cake wasn’t greasy like the one I made years ago. It was wonderful – perfectly moist and the flavour was well balanced. I might’ve reduced the amount of icing sugar in the frosting as well. I rather enjoy tasting more butter and cream cheese then just sweetness. Come the summer, I will be making this again. It’s so beaten my infamous Guinness Chocolate Cake.

I’ve noticed a trend though. I happen to make the best cakes on days where I know I’m going to get absolutely battered that evening. I suppose alcohol doesn’t just give you a head rush huh?

Carrot Cake
Adapted from Ina Garten
Ingredients

For the cake:
2 cups sugar
2/3 cup vegetable oil
3 extra-large free range eggs
2/3 cup Bramley applesauce
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2cups + 1 tbs flour, divided
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup raisins
1 cup chopped walnuts
1 pound carrots, grated
1/2 cup crushed pineapple

For the frosting:
300g cream cheese
1 cup unsalted butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup icing sugar, sifted

For the decoration:
anything you fancy really OR
strips of carrot, peeled with a peeler lengthwise
some red chard leaves

Preheat oven to 180d Celsius.
Butter and flour 2 8″ round cake pans.

Beat sugar, oil and eggs together until light yellow. Add vanilla. In another bowl, sift together 2 1/2 cups flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. Toss the raisin and walnuts with 1 tbs flour. Fold in the carrots and pineapple. Add to the batter and mix well.

Divide the batter equally between the 2 pans. Bake for 55 – 60 minutes or until toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Allow the cakes to cool completely in the pans set over a wire rack.

For the frosting:
Beat hte butter til light in colour. Add the cream cheese and beat. Add the vanilla. Beat till just incorporated. Add the icing sugar and mix til smooth.

Assemble cake and decorate as you like it!

Earlier this week, one of my mates said to me, “I’ve just realized how funny you are. Every damn thing you say is Facebook quote-worthy.”

Obviously flattered, the topic of the worthiness of my witty banter soon passed and things got right down and dirty – the topic of food, chocolate, Sunday roast and Christmas mince pies. Indeed, I am often less bothered about what I say really than the yummy concoctions I put in my mouth. I mean, I get totally psyched about that!

One good thing about my pals and I are that we are easily teased by food. Apart from friendship, this is the strong bond that brings us lot together. Think of us as a Knighthood of Glorified & Appreciative Eaters, if you like. So anyway, everyone got properly jittery when Starbucks released their Christmas red cups, considering the fact that among us we have people who have either worked/works at Starbucks and/or are just generally unadulterated Starbucks junkies (and unafraid to admit that we are). So, still satiated and buzzing from an afternoon Christmas special drink (with the roof of my mouth tingling a little from burning it on a dark cherry mocha), feeling nice and toasty in my new slipper socks as my room is slowly infused with the scent of burning mulled wine candles, I plot my Sunday lunch.

And blimey, was this Sunday lunch very brilliant on the flavours! Just last week, I’d popped two beautiful pork steaks into the freezer in an effort to save them for a time when I was better prepared ingredient and energy wise. Today was just the perfect day for tasty steaks and what better to pair pork than with apples? The advent of winter also means making use of wintry flavours in fruit and nuts. Instead of chomping on that next bar of Aero chocolate, I was beyond delighted to deck myself in my black sugarbar apron and get working within the comforts of a heated home on a hearty meal.

I found an interesting recipe on goodtoknow.co.uk incorporating Chinese ingredients for a pork marinade. I was a little worried on how that might work with a fruit risotto but my fears were put to rest once I put a fork of meat to mouth. The flavours were gorgeous! Chinese 5 spice and the garlic was just wonderful, making the meat so juicy and succulent with a nice lacing of oriental sweetness. I adore this marinade and highly recommend it. In fact, I’m hoping to use this recipe again next week for another friend of mine, in hopes of wowing his socks off and showing him what a stunning cook I am. Actually, it’s also because I owe him a meal after he whipped me up some amazing chicken fajitas about 2 weeks ago. This man, I swear, is some sort of god of fajitas.

The apple risotto too was quite amazing. Word of advice, don’t pick sweet apples such as Royal Gala or Pink Lady. As much as these apples are tasty and beautiful to look at, I find that choosing a rather tart apple like Braeburn or maybe even a Cox just perfect, especially since it’ll go well with a dash of white wine.

This recipe serves 2.

Pan-Seared Pork Steak on Apple & Pecan Risotto
Ingredients

For the marinade & pork steaks:
(adapted from goodtoknow.co.uk)
2 fresh pork steaks
1 tbs soy sauce
1 tbs brown sugar
1/2 tsp Chinese 5 spice
1/2 clove garlic, very finely chopped
1/2 tbs olive oil
1/2 tbs toasted sesame oil
sprinkle of dried thyme

For the Apple & Pecan Risotto:
150g Italian arborio rice
about 400ml vegetable stock
1/4 cup dry white wine
40g salted butter
1 shallot, chopped
30-40g grated parmesan
1 red apple (I’ve used a Braeburn), chopped into small cubes
1/3 cup whole pecans, toasted and roughly chopped
sprinkle of dried thyme
freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning

In a small bowl, mix together ingredients for the marinade. Place pork steaks in a large plate and pour marinade over the tops of the steaks. Rub gently into the steaks, flip over and cover the clean sides with marinade. Make sure to pat the chopped ginger in the marinade onto the steaks. Cover plate tightly with clingwrap and let sit in the refrigerator overnight or for at least an hour.

For the risotto, make sure you start on it about 10-15minutes before pan-searing the steaks as this will take about 5-7minutes to cook completely.
Heat the butter in a saucepan. Add the risotto rice and fry for about 2 minutes. Add the shallots and fry a little longer. Ladle about 2 ladles of vegetable stock into the saucepan, lower heat and let simmer. The arborio rice will slowly absorb the liquids in and be careful to only add a ladle of stock each time, stirring now and again as the rice cooks – you can add liquid to risotto but not take it out!
When all the liquid is nearly absorbed, add another ladle and continue this cooking process. This will take about 10-15minutes to cook. Once the risotto rice is cooked through, add the white wine and stir. Once the consistency of the risotto has reached the desired thickness, remove from heat and add 1/2 the prepared grated parmesan, thyme, apples and pecan. Stir with a quick and firm hand until all the ingredients have just come together.
Add the rest of the grated parmesan, saving a tiny bit for sprinkling over the tops. Season with black pepper if needed.

For the pork steaks, preheat the oven to 200d Celsius and prepare a hot frying pan. The pan has got to be very hot but not overly hot. Grease lightly with cooking spray. Remove steaks from refrigerator.
Place steaks on hot frying pan and let sear for about 7 seconds (you will have to judge this by eye). With a pair of tongs or a spatula, flip the steaks quickly to sear the other side for another 7 seconds. Now remove and place on a grill, then slide into the oven to cook for about 5 minutes. Once cooked, serve quick on a bed of apple & pecan risotto with a sprinkle of grated parmesan.

The clocks have turned back, the temperature’s dropping lower and I’m discreetly reaching out for that next bar of chocolate. Kit Kat’s latest release – Kit Kat Senses is quite the treater. I say go try it if you haven’t. Huddled under the duvet in a giant fleece hoodie with a Kit Kat as I watch Hellboy then Hellboy II, my Sunday is going by quite well actually if you don’t consider the fact that I’m seeing my dissertation tutor tomorrow who is a practicing psychoanalyst — she’s terribly intimidating and I shit marbles from fear when I’m talking to her one on one!

Shitting marbles ain’t exactly the best expression for me to be putting onto the intensely parent-controlled world wide web, or a food blog that has no scatological relations whatsoever, but it’s the appropriate way to describe how freaked out I get when I’m around her. She’s amazingly intelligent and seems nice enough. There are people with big personalities; there are some with very dominating presences and some who just get forgotten by others even when standing right next to that ridiculously coloured punch bowl; some who light up the room; some who are really messed up or eccentric or hilarious. And there are just some who FREAK THE HELL OUTTA YOU – who seem to see right through you, through your eyes and into your brain then right out through the back of your head and then down your spine into your stomach and intestines. That’s right. I feel like she’s even in on what I ate for lunch. As I chatter on away nervously about Jeanette Winterson and Luce Irigaray and these big ideas on phallogocentrism, I gather she’s analyzing everything about me — my black patent Dr. Marten’s, my pseudo curly ‘bed’ hair, my shiny dark-coloured nails and the woolly tights I’m wearing that I saved from my laundry basket that very morning. Her gaze is so piercing and intense, being in the same room as her is near suffocating. Suffocating because the air that I breathe out she breathes in and holds it in and I’m like a skanky hungry rat being held from its tail by its captor, unable to run away or do anything except squeak in fear and twist its body into weird contortions in hopes of loosening its tail from those unforgiving fingers.

Yea. Yea, so…she’s not that scary, huh?

Think it’s definitely a glass of water, a couple of deep breaths before I knock on her door tomorrow. I don’t even know if I’ve got her office hours right, either. Seems I get it wrong every week. As I did last week, which resulted on me waiting patiently outside her office listening in on some sort of odd group seance.

That’s the story of my life this week. A build up of anticipation and nervousness which shall either combust into flames of stutterings or coat itself in a glossy exterior of placidity. Hence, the chocolate, cookies and Jelly Babies. I’m not stress eating! Absolutely not! Well…some might dispute that. But I don’t stress eat. It’s just about the time of the month and sugar makes me properly drugged. Sugar and chocolate get me giggly and funny in the mind. Which also seems to be telling me something – I’m addicted to the drug Sugar!

However, it’s bad that I’m consuming that much sweetie junk for lunch and so I decided to whip out the chopping board and cooking utensils to fix myself a proper lunch, which also decidedly chased away some of my stress devils. I’ve dreamed about the caramelized onions and goats cheese pizza from Pizza Express a couple of times now. Knowing I’m a little skint, I’ve recreated the flavours into a simple and rather cheap pasta dish. Honestly speaking – best bowl of pasta I’ve ever made! The caramelized onions were beautiful and a recipe I’ll definitely be coming back to for as a pizza topping, addition to burgers, etc. The choice of greens were very limited since I didn’t really do a proper shop for this and the addition of runner beans were quite random. Not complaining though since it all tasted great, made the stomach happy and filled up one of the slots for my 5 a day.

Wonder if my tutor will be clairvoyant enough to know what I ate for lunch today, tomorrow?

This recipe is just perfect for 1. Increase the amount for caramelized onions and store in fridge for later use if you like!

Pasta with Caramelized Onions, Goats Cheese, Streaky Bacon, Cashews & Greens
Ingredients

1 serving penne pasta
olive oil, for frying
1 tbs goats cheese, crumbled
2 strips smoked streaky bacon, cut into small strips
small handful of spinach leaves
4-5 runner beans, chopped
4-5 cashew nuts
salt and freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning

For the caramelized onions:
1/2 a medium-sized red onion, thinly sliced
1 1/2 tbs salted butter
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs HP brown sauce, woodsmoked flavour
2-3 tbs water
a few drops of sesame oil
pinch of cayenne pepper
pinch of paprika
salt and freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning

Prepare caramelized onions about 20 minutes before.
Melt some butter in a saucepan. Add olive oil. When butter is all melted, add onions and let it sauté and then, sweat. Once it starts getting softer and translucent, add spices and sesame oil. Once most of the fats has started to be absorbed into the onions, add water to saucepan to loosen up the sauce that’s starting to solidify at the bottom of the pan. Reduce heat to low and let it simmer, stirring now and again. This should sit on the hob for about 5-10minutes.
Most of the water should have reduced by then. Add HP brown sauce and season a little to taste. Set aside to top the pasta later.

Toast cashew nuts on an un-oiled frying pan or on a baking tray in a preheated oven.
Boil some water and cook the pasta. In a separate saucepan of boiling water, cook the runner beans.

On another frying pan, heat some oil and fry bacon strips. Once pasta is cooked, mix the bacon strips and some of its grease into the pasta, not forgetting the runner beans and spinach leaves. Mix well so all the pasta is covered with the lovely bacon juice.

Pour out into a bowl. Crumble goats cheese over the top, spoon the caramelized onions on the top and finally the toasted cashews. Serve.